Pain and Wounded

Today, I’ve been worrying about shit that I shouldn’t be worrying about like for example: why would my parish-mates not include me during parish? I mean the that’s the parish leader’s job, is it not? And if some of my classmate/lunch buddy are angry with me because of something I did? I’m not even talking that much anymore. They say it’s normal for a teenager to think that way but no I should be strong enough to ignore negative vibes with my surrounding. I just wanna end high school already. They say it’s fun, but I think it’s just a big pain in the ass and a waste of time. I could be lurking around the world look for HIM but nooooo… I’m stuck here “studying” because I have to “learn” stuff that I won’t even use in the future. I’m just so tired of worrying that I wish I was a vampire in The Vampire Diaries where vampires can just turn of their humanity and not care. Or I wish my life was like a book. It can be anything even tragic because even though I die in the end at least I get a chance to know what love is and in reality I will never learn the true meaning of love because of society. Not only does it prevent me from seeking HIM but it also has this “different meaning” of what love is. Some say it is about you being happy or what so ever. People marry and after a year or so then end up divorcing each other. I mean, come on, what would the future generation think about marriage? It should be an unbreakable covenant. Unfortunately, nowadays, everything has a loophole. You see now, how can I wake up everyday knowing that my dream is better than my reality? Its like asking to give up ice cream for something you pick out from the garbage can. Useless and disappointing.

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