I’ve always wished for a better year to come. Every freaking school year of my life had its greatness but mostly downfall. But the greatness makes the downfall worth falling. This year, however, had neither a downfall nor greatness. I tried to make my own downfall but I ended up being bored and all. Another thing is that whenever I try to occupy myself, I get immediately uninterested and when I put myself out there… well, I don’t. I haven’t been out there because I chose not to. And that’s the worst part. I was always thinking that my precious time would just come to a waste when I waste it on this certain worthless activities. I try to waste my time on things which is unreal yet possibly more interesting than the tragic event that recently happened in the Philippines—which is typhoon Yolanda. I’m not even updated by simple facts like who won the Ms. Universe. I keep myself busy in order to kill time so that college would come earlier. I just have this feeling that nothing good will happen to my life here and everything will be there—in college. I can’t even busy myself with all the school work. I even advance work them now because of my boredom with my life. But there are days when I just choose to ignore them because I don’t see the importance of it in my life. I mean right now, I just think it’s a big waste of my time.
Whenever, I see so much passion in movies or in TV or even in tumblr, I ask myself “why can’t I have those?” and whenever I read about it, it just kills me that I don’t have someone I can be touchy with. Then I ponder on the idea and realize having a boyfriend is hard work. It has drama and it wastes a lot of TIME.
I spent all my time reading and watching, and anything but putting myself out there. As far as today, out of all the people I know, I only have three real friends—Patricia Ng, Gia Ruiz and Kristel Valle. I officially killed my social life just for time. Because time is precious and time is the enemy.