Sublime & Hamartia (1/24/14)

AHS fair, I couldn’t quite put out if I enjoyed the night or depressed about it.


As I passed by the fourth year wing/corridor, Justine was sitting on a blue bench that was placed in the middle of the classroom doors. I zoning out toward his direction and i was mesmerized that he was waving his hand and smiling at me. At first, I was frozen in shock. When I was able to recover, I smiled and waved back at him. Later I began to ask myself, “was he really saying ‘hi’ to me?”. I start to panic as I realized the posibility of that happening.
When I was watching Coup De Grace, I was on my usual spot where IndAK people were standing. Fortunately, Justine was also there. He, again, smiled and waved at me. Then as I return his greetings, I realized it was meant for me.
Being satisfied with the whole Justine saying hi to me, I was walking toward the exit of the fair. There I saw Justine standing with a friend. He saw me too and, if two acknowledgments were enough, said hi to one more time. I said bye and he returned it with a bye and a smile on his face.

The moment I entered the fair, I was immediately expecting Arvin and my instincts were proven correct. As I stop walking to wonder where Arvin could be, he appeared in thin air. We had a brief conversation, mostly because I was distracted, and (I THINK) I rejected not only his approach but also his attempt to hug.
While looking for Francis Lopez, I bumped into Arvin and again we had a brief conversation. After I saw Francis, I bumped into Arvin again. I told him about the whole Justine situation, being the topic of our 3rd brief conversation.
Arvin and I had a lot of encounter that I can no longer recall them all. However, there was a time where I was called to the stage during Footloose (the dance competetion) to play pinoy henyo. We won 200 worth KFC GC and as I went back to my seat, Arvin met me half way and congratulated me. He was patting my head and we had an awkward-unintentional hug.

Right before Footloose started, we were seated in the front row where Matt Rentutar sat with us for a while. I asked him curiously if there was someone who asked Arvin to prom besides me. He told me that someone wanted to ask him from ICA but I asked first. Matt told me that he was disappointed about it. Though I didn’t appreciate Matt’s insensitiveness, I died from what he told me. I didn’t know if he was serious or not but I was seriously hurt and that carried throughout the night. I feel guilty and unwanted. Seriously considering calling him as my promdate. It would be best for him, I think. His happiness means more than mine.


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