Sally Pulchellus

I was once in love with a girl name Sally Pulchellus. But then again, who wasn’t? Sally was practically everyone’s type. However, she wasn’t exactly the typical girl that boys like. She wasn’t blonde, she wasn’t a cheerleader, and hell wasn’t she easy. Sally was brunette. She was popular because she was smart. Every boy tried to ask her out but she always said no. A couple of years ago, she had a boyfriend—Xander, who was from a different school. If I heard correctly, they dated for about eight months and then they broke it off. No one really knew why. After that Sally became wild. And suddenly, not just everyone from school wanted her but it seems like everyone in California wanted her. Sally Pulchellus was simply perfect.

Why did I love Sally, you may ask? Sally was my neighbor. Everyone loved Sally from the start. Sally was sweet and nice. She liked to help everyone and every time she sees me play outside my house, she says hi. It always made me smile even if it made me look like an idiot. She was the only reason why I played outside, anyways. Something about Sally made us all obsessed.

One afternoon, Sally came home about half an hour later than her usual. I know this, of course, because I wait for her every time just to hear her say my name. But this time she didn’t say hi, she walked passed by me, crying her heart out. It crushed me, seeing her like that. All the years I’ve known Sally, I never saw her cry. She wasn’t the type. But today, it was like the whole world was ending for her.

The door slammed and it took me about five minutes to blink again. Suddenly the urge to make her feel better was controlling my whole body, and the next thing I knew was that my feet were dragging me inside the house and into the kitchen. In the fridge, I grabbed my mom’s homemade cookies that she made last weekend for no apparent reason. I walked out the door and found myself at the footsteps of Sally’s house. Her house was huge—it was the biggest in the neighborhood.

I rang the doorbell and waited patiently for someone to answer the door. It took about a minute before someone opened the door. To my surprise, it was sally. She was all changed to a casual sweat pants and a tight shirt that brought out her curves. Her face showed no emotion or any sign that she was crying. She looked almost perfect if it wasn’t for her sad gray eyes. Looking into her eyes, made it seem like someone had just died. She looked so vulnerable that I just want to drop everything and give her a tight hug and whisper to hear ears sweet nothings.

“What’s up?” she said.

I blinked for a while, too distracted to notice that I’ve been staring at her with my mouth wide open. I was practically drooling because even when she’s so broken she looked like an angel—so small, so delicate—someone that you just want to love forever. “Oh, are you okay? I saw you crying and I was just wondering if you wanted some of my mom’s cookies? It’s really good.”

She laughed so innocently, like she thought I was humoring her. “Do you want to come in?”

“Um, sure.” As I entered her house, I glanced around. It was the first time since I was born that I’ve seen Sally’s house. As much as it looked perfect on the outside, it looked so empty on the inside. It was huge and classy but it lack life. It must have been depressing to live in such a huge house all by yourself since Sally’s parents are business people who traveled around most of the time.

We stayed at her bedroom. I wouldn’t say it was any different than I imagined it would be because every boy practically dreamt of being inside Sally’s bedroom and here I am. She had a window overlooking the city and beside it was a bookshelf full of variety of books. Her bed was place in the middle of the room and in front of it placed a huge TV set. Opposite to the window, beside the door, was another door—walk in closet and bathroom, she explain. She sat on the bed and gesture for me to sit next to her. I handed her the cookies and obeyed her.

“So tell me, what exactly do you want from me, Nicoli?”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… do you like me?”

My jaw dropped in surprise. My mind was quite sure what to process at the moment. Was she for real? I blinked again in surprise as she laughed at me. “It’s okay, you can tell me, Nicoli. I’ve known you since like forever. And you’ve always waited for me to come home everyday.”

“What? You’ve noticed that?” I blushed as I admitted since there’s no point in hiding.

“My mom did.”

“Well, yes I kind of do,” I said shyly looking straight to her eyes for any reaction but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she cupped my face and kissed me. At first I was too shock to kiss back because I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. We all have been and it’s here happening right now. I closed my eyes, wished that I wasn’t dreaming, and kissed her back. It was sweet for a while then it became hot and heavy. My hands were all over her body. My heart was beating fast, although something was missing. She kissed so passionately; it almost made me forgot it wasn’t a dream. It was surreal.

She was the one who pulled away first. She looked at me with her eyes sparkling. I’ve heard rumors about her eyes. It was deceitful, they said. Now I know what they mean. The lines of her gray eyes were long and scattered. She didn’t blink. If it weren’t Sally, I would’ve thought she loved me and only me. But then since her break up with Xander, Sally kissed a lot of guys and all of their stories were the same. It was starting to scare me how accurately they described it.

“She will look at you like you were the only two people in the world. She will kiss you so hard you think that your lips were only meant for you. And for that moment you’ll think that there’s nothing else that matters because you got it all. But then she will pull away just before you hit the ground. You will think that she saved you because she looks like an angel looking straight at you with her gray eyes. But then the way she looks at you so passionately, you’ll blink and realize that she doesn’t feel the same way. Instead, she feels sadness that you’ll be just one of the boys whom hearts she broke because she was broken. You’ll realize that her eyes didn’t bore passion but instead a longing for someone she once loved. She was wishing that it should’ve him that she was kissing and not you. And it would seem like your world was ending but then you look back at her and you just couldn’t hate her. She looked so much like a broken angel for you to hate. Even if she broke you, even if it would take you years probably to get over that kiss, you won’t hate her. Instead, you would love her more that ever.”

True enough, all of those happened. I’ve been with a lot of girls ever since and I’ve also been happily married. But now, I sit here in the dinning table, pretending to read the newspaper when I’m really just reminiscing that kiss. It has been years since then but I couldn’t get over it. I haven’t heard from Sally after graduation. She never attended reunions or any get together. No one heard from her at all. Every one was looking for her. Everyone wanted to know how she’s been because just like me, they all couldn’t forget that one perfect kiss with her. Everyone loved her even though she only really loved that boy we called Xander. And that is the curse that Sally Pulchellus and everyone bore.

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Happiness

I lie on the grass

Under the sky

Looking at the giant ball of gas

It was the apple of my eye

Didn’t care about time

Because everything was fine

The galaxies intertwine

And the stars shine

The sun was setting

But it wasn’t upsetting

Beauty was the whole thing

And I regret nothing

There was a ring

Then came a ding

My eyes immediately fling

It was just a dream

So Close

By Kloie Gil

As I lie awake tonight

I couldn’t think of anything but you

You give me light

But darkness too

Three years ago

I had you in my hand

I didn’t know what to do

It was so unplanned

I had my eyes on him

You had yours on me

It was all too dim

Your love, I couldn’t see

I ignored your affection

I broke your heart

For me, there was no connection

And that was just the start

The year after that

I had a reflection

Couldn’t forget our chat

Discovered infatuation

But I was too late

You were with my best friend

On Vesmir, you were on a date

Thought it was a dead end

But it didn’t end there

She then introduces us

I could do nothing but stare

`twas like I’ve been hit by a bus

I played it cool

Trying not to be a fool

At the same time cruel

Declared I remember we met at school

I walked away

Behind the entrance, I stay

Because I felt fey

And that I couldn’t display

It took me months to move on

And once again I can sleep through dawn

The feeling was gone

Finally, I can carry on

Twenty thirteen

The year we meet again

I had a talk with your twin

And suspicions were gained

He kept giving me hints

About you and me

That we had some imprint

Like I was your sweet pea

I wasn’t sure what to do

To confirm or to deny

Never heard the truth from you

He might be a spy

I acted dumb and clueless

Didn’t show any emotion

Like talking about you was painless

I concealed my affection

A Night At Gatsby’s

The truth was revealed

And I was unease

Couldn’t help but yield

My whole world fell apart

Like being stabbed by a dart

And I was back to the start

But this time it was I with a broken heart

I tried to reunite

But it was too late

There was no longer any light

You were in love with your prom date

Why is fate so cruel?

It was never in my favor

It made me a fool

This is enough, I’ll surrender

A Night At Gatsby’s

The LSGH prom was neither as fun as Aileria nor was it boring. There were some moments I wanted to erase from my memory forever and there were some information I want to cherish forever. A night at Gatsby’s, as I would say, is unexpected. It was on this night I learned, through Gab Villarosa’s confession, that I was the 1st girl Diego ever liked. It was so sad that he never really admitted it to me. If only fate was nicer to me, then I wouldn’t have regrets by now. I knew it too late, and now I have to accept the fact that there’s nothing to do but keep moving forward.

                It was sad to see Anjo with another girl. Though there was nothing between us, he was part of my life and no matter what I do, he’ll always be a piece in my puzzle. It was just annoying when I said hi to Nads Gamo and her date—Ino Garcia—called Anjo the moment he saw me. It was as if he was playing a joke on me since he’s Anjo’s bestfriend, he knows what happened between us. At this my night was half ruined.

                I didn’t know what to feel about Josh Salinas. Cause number one, he’s so touchy. I mean, if that was Arvin I’d be fine with it but the thing is, he’s not Arvin. Number two, he’s like a puppy. I mean, come on, stop following me. I seriously don’t know what to feel about him. He’s with Debbie and all so he should put restrain on him but no! So yeah. Just no.

                But all in all, LSGH prom was okay. I get to be with some friends. I was able to learn a lot of revelations. I made new friends. And lastly, I realized that the only reason why I didn’t have that much fun was because it was not Arvin I was with.ImageImageImageImage

Aileria

I couldn’t quite decipher my feelings about last night. Good things happened at the same time worst information had to be taken in. Maybe I’m over thinking it or maybe my instincts are correct?

                Prom was full of adventures. It all started when Arvin arrived at 5:07 in Makati Shang. The moment I read the text, I immediately panicked. Sweat was consuming my palms and my nerves were going crazy. As I rush into my dress, I fantasized about what was going to happen and little did I know the night was going to be nothing like I fantasized.

Arvin arrived at the hotel room, my mom took pictures and we set off. We made our way to the elevator and unfortunately for us, it took us 20 minutes before an elevator opened for both of us. As we reached the 2nd floor where the ballroom was located, we registered immediately. As we entered the ballroom, we saw picture booths and we immediately took weird photos in each booth. After getting bored of waiting inside, we went out and looked for people we knew. Gii and company were the first ones we saw while looking for AC and Andy. It hurt a bit seeing Arvin with Gii but I was completely fine. I asked him why he asked Gii and if he likes her. He didn’t deny it completely but he also didn’t confirm it. However, I do have a feeling that he has a thing for Gii. And whether that feeling is a fact or just a feeling, I don’t know.  AC texted Arvin that he was inside the ballroom already with Andy so we decided to go back and search for them inside. We stayed with them until the door opened for students to enter.

We were the first in our table so we did the typical thing to do: choose the best seat, leave a mark on it then roam around to look for people. We did all the possible stuff we could do to avoid getting bored. It was amazing how even though many were talking to me for a long time, Arvin remained by my side. Every time, I wanted to go somewhere, he’d follow. If he was needed in some place, he would ask me to come with him. There was this one time when Gab went to chat with me and it probably took at most 10 minutes of my time and Arvin just sat there next to me. Those little things are the most appreciated for me. He carried my phone for me the whole night because it wouldn’t fit in my bag. And when I accidentally wet Patng’s phone, the moment I took the phone away from the wet area, he got it from my hands and started drying it.

When the awards was given, all there was left was the dance. Of course, Arvin and I went to the dance floor since AC and company were there. They did what dancers always do—dance—while Ella and I were just playing with the shoes on the ground. I started walking toward Ella who was standing opposite me and Arvin next to Inna and Alec. I stood there for a while doing weird stuff with Ella. Every time I glance at Arvin, he was, weirdly, looking at me with concern (idk?) in his eye. We were having fun for a while then the song change its beats and drums to violins and pianos. Inna and Alec started dancing together; Jaja was nowhere to be found; Ella and prom date were already swaying and so were Andy and AC. I looked at Arvin who looked at me. He asked, “Do you want to?” and all I could answer was, “Ikaw?” He then held out his hand and I took it. He placed my hand on the ba ck of his neck and my other hand obediently followed. It was so awkward that I can’t think of anything to compare it with. We ended stopping the dance because it was nothing but awkward for me (I don’t know with him since he was saying nothing about it). Ella scolded us and told us to do it again with pointers on how to slow dance. So we did what she did. Arvin, for the second time, asked for my hand and the process began. We locked eyes, as Ella said so, and focused on each other but it was still so awkward. For the second time we stopped. I told him the song reminded me of someone (Anjo) since I had memories with the song. I asked if we could sit down first and so we did on the nearest table we could find. Arvin asked about that certain “someone” I was referring to but I deprived him answer. We sat there for a couple of songs. When the DJ played “Fall” by Justin Bieber, I told him I like the song and dragged him to the dance floor. We did the process again but this time it went naturally. We ended up hugging each other as we silently swayed to the beat of the music. When the music was over, we decided to leave the place completely.

I took a shower in the hotel room as Arvin charged his phone. We went to Aracama but we had a problem coming in at first. While waiting for the problem to be solved, we ate at McDo. While facetiming with Kristel, my battery died. Arvin and I started panicking as we have no contact with my mom. We looked for a charger in sight but there was none. We then looked for Burger King and KFC for they have iPhone chargers but there was none. We then decided to go back to Aracama where we saw my mom’s friend who let us in the club. The funny part about it was that we were both too calm to even think we’re panicking already.

The time continued to tick and Arvin asked if we were still going to Inna’s. I asked him if he wanted to but he wouldn’t tell me yes or no. I ended up assuming he wanted to go but just being polite about it. I asked my mom if we could go to Inna’s but she didn’t allow me because Inna lives too far. I told Arvin that I couldn’t go but I’ll bring him to Katip if he needed a ride. He told me he wasn’t going to Inna’s anymore and will just go straight home. Instead of bringing him to Katip, we ended up bringing him home. And the night ended with a hug.

I don’t know what to feel about the whole night. I really hope he had fun because it really doesn’t matter whether I had fun or not. But I did since we were together the whole night. I wish he wasn’t lying when he told me he had fun. I wish he meant it with all his heart. Although, I still don’t know how to react on the fact that Gii might be Arvin’s “next girl”. I may not know the answers to all my questions but I do know one thing: we can never be together as how I want it to be.

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Invitation (1/29/14)

LATE POST:

The first thing I did after I got the prom invitation, besides scenting it with perfume, is informing Arvin about it. I texted him, asking when he’ll be dismissed. He wasn’t replying and I was starting to lose hope that I’ll see him that day. Just when I was thinking about it while waiting for Gia to finish her practice, Arvin texted me that he was dismissed already so I told him I was going to drop the invitation off and I did. I went to AHS and waited for him in the parking lot. He arrived a few minutes after asking me where I was. We tried to talk about prom but it was so awkward for both of us. We agreed on him tagging along with me during the after party so which means we’ll be together the whole night (?) that’d be fun. We were alone for about 30 minutes before it started to rain which marked the end of our “hohol”.

Gii informed me that Arvin was going to ask Yanna to prom soon. I know I don’t have the right but come on!!!! Yanna? This is just so sad for me. Every great day gotta have its downfall all the time. But whatever… if it’s meant to be it will be.

Flare (1/25/14)

LATE POST:

I told Gii to go with me in front near the stage where I saw Arvin standing. I told her I saw Luigi Suarez, her crush, in order to get her to accompany me to Arvin. Arvin held us captive as entered various topics of conversation which, as Gia said, kept us there forever. We shared jokes and teased Gii a lot.

There was a time when I left Arvin and Gii to say hi to Geli who was standing not that far but not that near to where we were standing. I asked him where Luigi Suarez was since Gii wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, he told me I just missed Luigi and he doesn’t know where he is. I went back to Arvin and the next thing I knew Gii was pulling me toward Luigi. An embarrassing moment occurred the moment we reached Luigi for Arvin and Geli told him that I was looking for him when I was only looking for him because Gii was. And now he might think I’m into him. The moment I thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, it did. Arvin and Geli left Gii and me with Luigi. It was so awkward that we didn’t do anything but stare at each other and the moment one catches the other one looking one will immediately look away. When Luigi left and Arvin returned, we filled him up with the awkwardness we felt with Luigi.

When everything was well, Gii brought up Justine because she wanted to be introduced to him. I told her it was never gonna happen because “sa tagal-tagal naming magkakilala ni Arvin, neve niya akong pinakilala kay Justine.” Then I asked him what was happening on the 15th of February since they claimed that Justine couldn’t attend MC prom due to some competition he needed to attend to. Arvin told me I should go ask him, pointing behind me. Confused, I looked toward the direction he was pointing and saw Justin standing directly behind me. Arvin brought us to Justine, surprising me with an introduction to him. At the middle of introducing us, Justine immediately interrupted him, claiming that we already knew each other. I relayed the questions I asked Arvin about him and he told me he’ll check on it and will let me know ASAP. After a while, they were both called to perform and we parted ways.

I watched him perform then after, we left the covered courts. After what seemed like forever of being outside, I saw Justine. I forced Gii to follow Justine with me. We ended up returning to the covered courts. The moment we enter the courts, we saw that Arvin was still where he was before, near the stage, preparing to perform. Gii was pushing me to him but I was resisting it. When she finally gave up, she told me that the IndAK boys were doing the same to him.

After the show, Gii and I left the courts to meet Gia by the admin. We saw Justine with another IndAK person across us. He saw me and he shouted “Hi, Kloie!” Gii told me to go talk to him and so I did. I didn’t know how to start a conversation so I asked him about Arvin’s location. Though the conversation didn’t last long, it was worth it.

I grew tired of waiting for Arvin to leave the dressing room so I left the fair to go to KFC. If I thought the awkwardness was over, I was wrong. I saw Luigi Suarez again and he was seated in front of us. What an awkward way to end the night?

Sublime & Hamartia (1/24/14)

LATE POST:
AHS fair, I couldn’t quite put out if I enjoyed the night or depressed about it.

 

JUSTINE:
As I passed by the fourth year wing/corridor, Justine was sitting on a blue bench that was placed in the middle of the classroom doors. I zoning out toward his direction and i was mesmerized that he was waving his hand and smiling at me. At first, I was frozen in shock. When I was able to recover, I smiled and waved back at him. Later I began to ask myself, “was he really saying ‘hi’ to me?”. I start to panic as I realized the posibility of that happening.
When I was watching Coup De Grace, I was on my usual spot where IndAK people were standing. Fortunately, Justine was also there. He, again, smiled and waved at me. Then as I return his greetings, I realized it was meant for me.
Being satisfied with the whole Justine saying hi to me, I was walking toward the exit of the fair. There I saw Justine standing with a friend. He saw me too and, if two acknowledgments were enough, said hi to one more time. I said bye and he returned it with a bye and a smile on his face.

ARVIN:
The moment I entered the fair, I was immediately expecting Arvin and my instincts were proven correct. As I stop walking to wonder where Arvin could be, he appeared in thin air. We had a brief conversation, mostly because I was distracted, and (I THINK) I rejected not only his approach but also his attempt to hug.
While looking for Francis Lopez, I bumped into Arvin and again we had a brief conversation. After I saw Francis, I bumped into Arvin again. I told him about the whole Justine situation, being the topic of our 3rd brief conversation.
Arvin and I had a lot of encounter that I can no longer recall them all. However, there was a time where I was called to the stage during Footloose (the dance competetion) to play pinoy henyo. We won 200 worth KFC GC and as I went back to my seat, Arvin met me half way and congratulated me. He was patting my head and we had an awkward-unintentional hug.

HAMARTIA:
Right before Footloose started, we were seated in the front row where Matt Rentutar sat with us for a while. I asked him curiously if there was someone who asked Arvin to prom besides me. He told me that someone wanted to ask him from ICA but I asked first. Matt told me that he was disappointed about it. Though I didn’t appreciate Matt’s insensitiveness, I died from what he told me. I didn’t know if he was serious or not but I was seriously hurt and that carried throughout the night. I feel guilty and unwanted. Seriously considering calling him as my promdate. It would be best for him, I think. His happiness means more than mine.

Summation of 2013

Most kids my age are counting down the hours, minutes and seconds before 2014 arrives. However, I, on the other hand, locked my room and focused on this book my mom bought me for Christmas—The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. Most people sums up their memories from the previous year while I sum up lessons I’ve learned from 2013.

2013 thought me:

  1. Singers’ voices are better raw than edited because it shows their true greatness.
  2. A lifetime with the people you love is never enough.
  3. True love transcends everything.
  4. Being selfless makes you brave.
  5. Everything has its reasons.
  6. One will do everything for one’s love.
  7. Words have power.
  8. To love is to be happy. (I’ve once read that to love is to destroy but honestly even though we know that we still choose to love, right? Because to love and to be loved brings us simple that simple happiness that we consider pure.)
  9. Sometimes all we need is to forgive and move on.
  10. Forever is never enough.
  11. Sometimes what we’re looking for was right in front of us all along.
  12. Love above all.

Last but not the least, on the day before New Year itself arrived, I learned that life is never fair but that shouldn’t stop us from enjoying life. TFIOS thought me that you don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do have some say in who hurts you. As far as I know, we only have two choices: we can live life with no regrets—because our lifetimes are limited and we can’t waste even a single minute regretting—or die trying. And I will end this year by choosing the former.